Betty White teamed up with Luciana in a music video titled “I’m Still Hot.” Everyone’s favorite Golden Girl steals the show (along with the well-sculpted mounds of man flesh that surround her.)
The video’s purpose is to support The Lifeline Program.
Regardless if you’re interested in selling your life insurance or not, you’ll enjoy Betty White rapping and dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5phqDvrWNZcIn a shining moment for the state of Texas, Governor Rick Perry (and Republican Presidential hopeful–God help us), apparently doesn’t know his American history. But his ignorance is even worse than simply not knowing that the American Revolution started officially in 1776, but he apparently also missed the date by a mere two hundred years!
As reported by ThinkProgress, Rick Perry made the following comment to an ABC affiliate about state’s rights:
Our Founding Fathers never meant for Washington, D.C. to be the fount of all wisdom. As a matter of fact they were very much afraid of that because they’d just had this experience with this far-away government that had centralized thought process and planning and what have you, and then it was actually the reason that we fought the revolution in the 16th century was to get away from that kind of onerous crown if you will.”
Let’s (for now) overlook the fact that his answer makes absolutely no sense. Let’s focus instead on the fact that Perry obviously doesn’t realize the 1700’s were part of the 18th century. The 16th century took place in the 1500’s. It’s a difficult concept I know. My daughter has some issues with it, but then again she is 11. I would assume a man who runs a state and who also wants to run the nation would be able to figure this out.
But I may be expecting too much from Perry, especially when you consider his answer as a whole!
The incoherence of his response troubles me as well. I can’t make heads or tails of it. The majority of my college students are able to respond far more eloquently than our governor. Is this the man we want representing our nation to foreign countries? Someone who not only has no grasp of basic facts but someone who couldn’t form an intelligent answer to save his life.
Because, as President, forming an intelligent response is crucial. Words have been known to start wars. But, hey, what do I know? Well, except that the American Revolution took place in the 18th century, that it actually began in 1775 but was not officially declared until 1776, and that the war ended when the Treaty of Paris was signed in 1783.
But those are just facts. Who needs those?
Apparently, not only does Sally Kern think gays are a bigger threat than terrorists (as I posted about awhile back), but she (and her husband) are afraid that the gays are coming to get her!
In an interview on a conservative news radio program, as reported by The Advocate, Kern stated that “’fear gripped my whole body’ when she realized she was receiving angry emails from gay people after a video of her remarks about gays and terrorists was posted online in March 2008.”
This woman needs to be checked out by a good psychiatrist for paranoid schizophrenia.
Homosexuals aren’t the ones committing the hate crimes. If she reads or watches the news, she should know that gays are the ones who are killed by people like her. How many times have you heard of a gay man or woman attacking someone and killing them for being straight or spouting hate? Now, count how many times you’ve heard of a straight person killing a homosexual for simply being homosexual.
So, Kern needs to not worry. No one is plotting her doom, not even the Gay Mafia. While they aren’t amused about her speaking ill of homosexuals, they are more displeased by her hairdo. I mean, really? Who thinks various shades of grey that descend into poo-brown highlights is en vogue? Even though she screams for an extreme (and I do mean extreme) makeover, the Gay Mafia hasn’t ordered the hit. Yet.
Thanks to The Advocate, I learned that on November 1, a new book hits the digital and traditional bookshelves–The Last Testament written by God, who acted through comedian David Javerbaum to pen the book.
In this book, God sets the record straight (ahem) about how exactly he created the Earth and His people. Apparently, Adam and Steve pre-dated Adam and Eve.
I expect this new book to send the heads of conservative Christian’s head a-spinning like Linda Blair! The reactions should be fun to watch, so I really can’t wait!
The book mimics the format of the Bible as you can see from the excerpt below:
CHAPTER 4
1 To resume:
2 It is often said — and even more often screamed at anti–gay marriage rallies outside the statehouse in Lansing — that I created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
3 Wrong.
4 Now will I tell the story of the first man, Adam; and of the companion I fashioned for him, Steve; and of the great closeting that befell their relationship.
5 For after I created the earth, and sea, and every plant and seed and beast of the field and fowl of the air, and had the place pretty much set up, I saw that it was good;
6 But I also saw, that by way of oversight it made good administrative sense to establish a new middle‑managerial position.
7 So as my final act of Day Six, I formed a man from the dust of the ground, and breathed life into his nostrils; and I called him Adam, to give him a leg up alphabetically.
8 And lo, I made him for my image; not in my image, but for my image; because with Creations thou never gettest a second chance to make a first impression;
9 And so in fashioning him I sought to make not only a responsible planetary caretaker, but also an attractive, likeable spokesman who in the event of environmental catastrophe could project a certain warmth.
10 To immediately assess his ability to function in my absence, I decided to change my plans; for I had intended to use Day Seven to infuse the universe with an innate sense of compassion and moral justice; but instead I left him in charge and snoozed.
11 And Adam passed my test; yea, he was by far my greatest achievement; he befriended all my creatures, and named them, and cared for them; and tended the Garden most skillfully; for he had a great eye for landscape design.
12 But I soon noticed he felt bereft in his solitude; for oft he sighed, and pined for a helpmeet; and furthermore he masturbated incessantly, until he had well‑nigh besplattered paradise.
13 So one night I caused him to fall into a deep sleep; fulsomely did I roofie his nectar; and as he slept, I removed a rib, though not a load‑bearing one.
14 And from this rib I fashioned a companion for him; a hunk, unburdened by excess wisdom; ripped, and cut, and hung like unto a fig tree before the harvest;
15 Yea, and a power bottom.
16 And Adam arose, and saw him, and wept for joy; and he called the man Steve; I had suggested Steven, but Adam liked to keep things informal.
17 And Adam and Steve were naked, and felt no shame; they knew each other, as often as possible; truly their loins were a wonderland.
18 And they were happy, having not yet eaten of the Tree of the Knowledge That Your Lifestyle Is Sinful.
CHAPTER 5
1 Now the snake was more closeted than any animal in the Garden; literally on the down flow; for though he oft hissed his desire to mate with comely serpentesses, yet he lisped, and fretted over his skin care, and could not have looked more phallic if he’d had balls for a rattle.
2 And that which he needlessly despised in himself, he set out to destroy in others; so one day he slithered unto Steve and said,
3 “Steve!
4 ’Tsup?
5 Hey, random question for thee: Hast thou ever eaten the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge That Your Lifestyle Is Sinful?
6 ’Cause I hear it’s some quality produce!”
7 Long did the serpent cozen Steve in this way; at first he balked, but the serpent tricked him, by telling him that the fruit would intensify his orgasm; which was a reckless lie;
8 For the fruit did not intensify orgasms; it merely prolonged them forty‑five minutes.
9 And so Steve ate of the tree; and he bid Adam eat of it; and the knowledge that their lifestyle was sinful shamed them, and also filled them with white‑hot lust; and they entwined themselves unceasingly until dawn.
10 (For it was and remains true, that all aspects of sexual activity grow more pleasurable following their moral condemnation.)
11 But in the morning they grew embarrassed, and cloaked themselves in fig leaves; these constituting the entirety of their fall collection.
12 And they heard me walking in the garden in the cool of the day; and they hid themselves from my presence behind a grove; which, a lot of good that’s going to do;
13 And I called, “Adam and Steve, where art thou?”
14 And Adam said, “Father, there is something we need to tell thee: we are gay.”
15 And I said, “Whhhuuuhhhhh?!?”
16 And Steve said, “Yea, it is true, LORD; for the snake bid me eat the fruit of the forbidden Tree; and I gave it to Adam; and now we know that we are not only here, but queer; and lo, we would thou growest accustomed to it.”
17 And I turned to the serpent and screamed, “Thou hast ruined everything; for I had wrought Steve of the same gender as Adam, so that they could not breed, and would be free to focus on their gardening careers;
18 But thou hast made them ashamed for no reason, by convincing them to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge That Your Lifestyle Is Sinful.”
19 “But LORD,” said the serpent, “surely I could not have done this evil thing, if thou didst not inexplicably put this stigmatizing tree in the Garden to begin with.”
20 I considered this.
21 “Look,” I said, “hindsight is twenty‑twenty.
22 And surely this is not the time to play the ‘blame game’; at least not until my full‑scale internal investigation is complete;
23 Whose findings will be used to ensure, that an event as tragic as the Fall of Man, never happens again.
24 But in the meantime, serpent, thou art cursed above every beast of the field; and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life; and even the humans who study thee will be accursed; for they will be known as ‘herpetologists,’ which sounds like ‘herpes.’
25 And as for you, Adam and Steve: Damn it! I knew I should have made you lesbians!
26 Then you would have tended the Garden with more diligence; yea, and been a lot more outdoorsy in general.
27 But ye have been disobedient; and for that I must now inflict upon you the harshest punishment possible:
28 Transforming you from carefree young lovers living in the heart of everything, to a married couple with kids stuck in the suburbs.
29 Steve, so that thou mayest bear young, I will tomorrow transform thee into a woman; fear not, the operation is relatively standard; in the meantime, put this on.
30 Oh, and consider what female name thou wilt want; try to make it something that rhymes with ‘Steve’, so that 6,000 years from now, the righteous can use it to create the most inane slogan of all time.
31 As for posterity, do not worry about humanity learning the true nature of thy relationship.
32 I am the LORD thy God, King of the Universe; I know how to spin this.”
The Last Testament is currently available for pre-order on Amazon.com in both Kindle and paperback format. You can also download a free sample chapter by clicking here, here, or here.
Since today is National Coming Out Day, I wanted to share my coming out story. Some of you already know the fine details of this event, but there are others out there who might find the story enlightening and there’s even a chance that my story might find the ear of someone who could possibly benefit from it.
You see, I knew I was gay from a very early age. (Doesn’t that always seem to be the case?) Even before I actually knew what being gay was. I didn’t know what my attraction to those of my same gender meant. I only knew it made me different from my friends who lusted over Farrah Fawcett on “Charlie’s Angels” or Lynda Carter from “Wonder Woman.” I liked Farrah and Lynda too, but for different reasons. Farrah’s hair was awesome, and I secretly wanted to make her feathered locks my own. I also thought Lynda looked stunning in that star-spangled bathing suit. Secretly, I wanted to wear it, along with the red thigh-high hooker boots, tiara, bracelets, and that darned lasso that made everyone tell the truth.
But I just knew it was wrong. Why? Everyone around me told me so!
At school, there was nothing worse than being called a “sissy” or “fag,” and I did my best to dodge those labels like a dodge ball at gym class. But they followed me no matter where I went. After all, I hung out with girls and had tons of girl friends but no girlfriends. I tried to get girlfriends, so I could be like the other boys, and I even managed to snag a few. (Go me!) It just never felt right. Still, I hoped that if I found the perfect girl, she could make it all go away.
My family tried to butch me up. Whenever I acted too much like a girl (singing Olivia Newton-John songs, watching musicals, and hating sports), they told me to stop acting like a “sissy.” Hearing those words from your family is harsh. It made me feel defective as if there was something intrinsically wrong with me.
I know they didn’t mean to hurt me; they were trying to make me stronger, trying to make me fit a mold that society had already pre-set for boys. I needed to be strong, have thick skin, and relish in all things rough-and-tumble. And since I wasn’t living up to that ideal, they believed it was their job to try to cram me into it. This was the 1970’s after all (God, I’m old!). Life was a bit different in terms of accepting diversity than it is today.
I hold no grudge against my family. In fact, I love them with all my heart. Raising a child isn’t easy, and as we all know, no instruction manual on child rearing really exists. They did the best they could at the time and worked with the information they had.
They have evolved a lot since those days and so have I.
Back then, I waited for the girl who would make me straight, and I eventually thought I found her. Four years after meeting her, we were married.
She was, and still is, a wonderful human being. She has been far better to me than I have any reason to hope, but the love I felt for her couldn’t stop the secret from gnawing away at me from the inside. For years, it slowly consumed me from within until I turned into someone I didn’t even recognize.
When I looked in the mirror and saw who looked back at me, I didn’t recognize him because he wasn’t the real me. The real me existed somewhere deep within, and I had never even met him. The realization caused me to spiral downward and it also coincided with the arrival of my daughter into my life.
I questioned my ability to be a good father, to teach her to love and respect herself when I loathed and hated the very breath I exhaled.
So to be true to me and to be a better father to my daughter, I revealed the truth to my wife, to my family, and to my friends. Imagine Hiroshima after the Anola Gay fly over and you will understand a bit about what ensued.
Naturally, the news devastated my wife and ended our marriage. That part of the coming out was the most difficult because I broke the heart of someone very dear to me. To have the person you devoted your life to suddenly admit he’s not the person you thought he was isn’t easy. In righting my world and taking the necessary steps to be the person I needed to be, I also destroyed hers. I will forever live with that guilt, for I truly had no intention of hurting her. However, if I didn’t accept the truth, if I didn’t acknowledge the secret, I doubt I would be typing this blog right now.
Today, though, my ex-wife and I are better parents and friends for both of us accepting the truth and moving on.
Telling my mother was its own momentous event. When I finally worked up the nerve to tell her, through tears, that I was gay. She said, “Is that it? I thought you were going to tell me you had cancer or were dying? I don’t care if you’re gay. I love you.”
Those words meant the world to me. As a single parent, my mother was my entire world for much of my life. To have her turn her back on me would have been devastating. When she didn’t, when she proved to be the woman I knew in my heart she was, I was free to finally be the man I was meant to be.
After my wife and mother knew, the rest was a piece of cake.
My family, while stunned at the revelation, didn’t care. In the immortal words of my grandfather “blood is blood.” What more was there to say on the subject? It was closed.
For my friends, a lot of them were shocked. Some knew it all along.
At the end of the day, I realized it was no big deal. This big, awful monster that I had made my sexuality out to be turned out to be nothing more than a bump in the road. As my therapist at the time told me, “sometimes the things we fear the most turn out to be nothing to fear.” When she first uttered those words, I thought she was crazy. Now, I see the wisdom.
Fear kept me from being me all those years! Nothing else. Once the fear was removed, everything else fell into place.
I have a daughter who loves me (and whom I adore more than life itself). She doesn’t care that I’m gay. All she cares about is that I’m her Dad, that I help her with homework, drive her to school and dance class, and spoil her rotten!
I found a husband who is a wonderful man and who loves me despite my warts (and there are many!) I also have two great step children, who could care less about having two gay dads. It’s a non-issue for them.
My family loves me, my friends accept me, and my colleagues (who were stunned at first) don’t even bat an eye about it now.
So for anyone out there still struggling with coming out, know that life does get better. I know coming out stories are not always like mine, but they can be. Even if yours isn’t, being true to yourself is the best thing you can do for you.
After all, when you look in the mirror, you have to be happy with who you see staring back at you. For the past almost ten years years, I’ve never been happier. That’s worth any price.
ThinkProgress reports that John Smid, founder and former director of Love in Action (LIA), one of the oldest ex-gay conversion ministries, has come out of the closet.
Since Smid’s resignation from LIA in 2008, he apparently has had a change of heart about his own sexuality (he’s gay and married to a woman) and his beliefs on homosexuality in general. (I would guess so, now that he “realizes” he’s one of us!) Click here to read his latest blog post.
Smid’s revelations have led him to understand how narrow minded his previous views on homosexuality were. He even admitted the following:
“I was completely unwilling to hear anything that didn’t fit my paradigm. I blocked out anyone’s life story or biblical teaching that didn’t match up with what I believed… Now that I am not submerged into one sided perspectives, I am open to studying and reading the scriptures for myself, I am finding so many rich truths that I wasn’t ever made aware of before.
To me, this admission proves that proponents of conversion therapy know logically that ex-gay conversion doesn’t work, but since the facts contradict prejudice-based ignorance, they choose to ignore it like presidential hopefuls Rick Santorum and Herman Cain. The science is there, but people like Santorum and Cain (and at one time Smid) refuse to look at the data because it doesn’t support the hate they spout.
Now that Smid is free from such hateful clutter, he sees the word of God in a new light. He understands that the Bible is about love and acceptance, not about fostering hate and fear.
He even now realizes that “One cannot repent of something that is unchangeable…. the transformation for the vast majority of homosexuals will not include a change of sexual orientation. Actually I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.”
It’s nice to hear an ex-gay minister say those words. The mere idea is preposterous. If homosexuals could change to being heterosexual, then that means heterosexuals can do the same thing. How many of my heterosexual friends believe they could be persuaded by prayer to be gay? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You can’t wish (or pray) the gay away or into someone. That’s now how it works.
Luckily, Smid also realizes that too. “I used to define homosexuality or heterosexuality in terms describing one’s behavior,” he confessed. “I thought it made sense and through the years often wrote articles and talked from that perspective. Today, I understand why the gay community had such an issue with my writings. My perspective denied so many facets of the homosexual experience. I minimized a person’s life to just their sexuality but homosexuality is much more than sex.”
Precisely. Just as sex is only a small part of a heterosexual person’s identity, sex isn’t the entire portion of a homosexual’s identity either. We are all so much more than who we go to bed with at night. I’m glad Smid finally realizes that and has been enlightened. I applaud him for not only making the change but admitting it.
It takes a lot of strength to admit you have been behaving badly, and I applaud Smid for not only eating crow but for now being a voice for truth.
I realized the other day that I missed the birthday of another of my favorite actors–Sigourney Weaver! (Please forgive me, Sigourney!)
I know there must be other people out there who love Sigourney Weaver as much as I do, but I challenge anyone out there who thinks they love her character Ellen Ripley from the Alien movies more than I do. Those would definitely be fighting words!
Alien was the first scary movie I saw, and I absolutely loved it! In fact, because of her and that movie, I became a rabid fan of the genre.
I was only seven years old when the movie premiered, and I begged my mother to take me to see it. Now before you bash my mother for daring to take such a young boy to such a scary movie, keep in mind that I pestered her almost nightly to see it. I wasn’t forced, and I wasn’t dragged. I wanted to see that movie! I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to see it once I saw the trailer.
In case you’ve forgotten it, here it is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oYNvmNZP2oWhen I first saw that trailer, I remember thinking what the hell is in that egg?!?! (Yes, I most likely said hell at that age. I was always very advanced!)
The movie trailer intrigued me, and I just had to see it. Boy, was I glad I did!
Even though my mother attempted to shield my eyes during the infamous chest burster scene, I pried her hand open, so I could watch what would become a momentous cinematic event. I was neither emotionally scared nor terrified by what happened. I thought it was awesome!
Since then, Sigourney’s Ripley became my first action hero! (Well, besides Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman, but I’ll save that for a later post! Today is Sigourney’s day!)
So, to commemorate her 62nd birthday, I wanted to share some lessons I learned from watching Sigourney Weaver battle her alien nemesis throughout the years.
Lesson #1: Always Follow Standard Quarantine Rules
Lesson #2: Always Wear Good Panties (or undies)
Lesson #3: Damsels in Distress Don’t Survive
Lesson #4: Stand Up for Yourself and Your Loved Ones, No Matter What (or as Ripley put it: “Get away from her, you bitch!”)
Lesson #5: You Can’t Keep a Good Woman (or Person) Down
Looking back at everything I’ve learned, I have Sigourney Weaver to thank for helping me in my relationships and my character. If I had never seen Alien at seven years old, Lord only knows how messed up I might be today!
The Advocate reports that California Governor, Jerry Brown, recently signed several LGBT bills into law for his state. These laws received recognition from many national LGBT organizations, who see the new laws as steps in the right direction for the gay community.
Among these laws are Seth’s Law, which “mandates that schools post anti-bullying policies throughout campuses, provide complaint forms on their websites, and give schools a timeline to investigate and resolve complaints.” The law was named after Seth Walsh, a 13 year old, who hung himself after excessive bullying at his school. Eventually, his school was found negligent in their attempts at resolving Seth’s continued harassment. Considering the amount of bullying-related deaths around the country, this was a much needed measure to protect all children, whether gay or straight.
Another law, the Gender Nondiscriminatory Act, “makes ‘gender identity and expression’ its own protected category at work, at school, in housing, at public accommodations, and in other settings.” This will prohibit individuals transitioning from male to female or female to male from being discriminated anywhere in California. Gender reassignment is already a difficult process without adding the fear of losing one’s livelihood or residence. This law prevents that from happening.
At a time when it seems there is only bad news for LGBT rights, it’s always good to hear when LGBT voices are heard and rights are upheld by lawmakers instead of stripped by them.
Beyonce is one of my favorite artists, and if you haven’t seen her new video yet, here it is!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZtkovcn2B0Whether you’re gay or a straight person who loves your gay friends, tomorrow is an important day in the GLBT community. It is National Coming Out Day, a day to celebrate not only who you love but who you are.
National Coming Out Day started on October 11, 1987, when half a million people marched in Washington in support for GLBT rights. Since then, October 11th has been a day when the GLBT community and their supporters unite in solidarity to help equality reach us all!
So, if you see someone wearing purple or proudly displaying their rainbow button, let them know you are a GLBT ally. And, if you want, you can wear purple tomorrow too!