It’s hard to believe that it’s that time of the year to once again begin our annual trek to Provincetown, Massachusetts, the land of, uh, milk and honey. This year will mark our sixth consecutive year of summering in Ptown (as it is more commonly called), and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Those of you who have followed my blog know of my love of Ptown. I’ve posted about it here and here, and with just four days till I once again stand on the shores of what I hope to be my future home, it also means that I must begin the arduous task of preparing for my month in Provincetown.

Step #1: Step Up the Work Out

This step actually occurs all year round, but as Ptown draws closer, it’s always a good idea to increase the reps and amp up the cardio. There are plenty of well toned, nicely sculpted bodies parading shirtless down Commercial Street and don’t even get me started on the barely there swimsuits at the pool or beach. In order not to feel too bad about myself, I increase the weights and the reps to help add more definition to what I’ve been working on for the eleven months up to my return. Thankfully, this year we arrive during Bear Week (and I love the bears!) instead of during July 4th, which I lovingly call Twink Week. Since the bears tend to be of heartier fare, it’s a nice way to begin the month vacation and ease my way into the Ptown scene. I always feel petite during Bear Week, so it’s a good ego boost for me. (If you don’t know what I mean by bear, click here for a reference guide).

Step #2: Eat Meat

As part of the slim down and bulk up routine, it’s a good idea to eat meat and abandon the carbs as much as possible before the eventual arrival in Ptown. The added protein helps build muscle while the absence of carbs helps shed some extra body weight. Additionally, if you’re like me and drink more alcohol than you consume food while in Ptown, your body will need the extra sustenance.

Step #3: Dress Like a Straight Boy

During the week before departure, I don’t wear the clothes I’m taking with me because I don’t want to have to do laundry the same day I’m packing for the trip. So, I go to the back of my closet for the loose shirts and open the drawer containing my baggy shorts and don those the entire week up to my flight. The extra fabric is cumbersome; I freely admit that, but the time saved is well worth it.

Step #4: Gather the Gear

Provincetown has many themed weeks and an assortment of parties, so you have to make sure you are adequately prepared for the underwear and leather parties at the various clubs. Different clubs allow different “costumes,” and variety is the spice of life! Beyond the parties, you have to bring comfortably stylish clothes for general exploration of the town, a whole different set for dinner (when it is consumed), a different wardrobe for tea (which is a daily party from 4-7 at the  Boatslip), and then clothes for the clubs at night. That’s a lot of different ensembles, but being prepared is well worth it when you get there and saves you the trouble of buying new clothes when you are there.

Step #5: Play Supermodel

Once all the different outfits have been assembled, it’s important to try them on before you actually get there, so I turn on my favorite iTunes playlist and start the fashion show. It’s a good way to determine whether what looked good last year held the test of time, and what gay boy doesn’t enjoy being the star of his own runway every now and then? Favorite shirts fade or sprout holes, and it’s better to find out before you leave then when you get there and have to scramble for a new look. Last minute costume changes are the worst!

With only four days till my departure, I’m currently at step 3. Steps 4 and 5 will take place on Wednesday and Thursday since my flight to Boston is on Friday. While this week is a lot of prep time, the end result is well worth the labor!