Author Archives: Jacob Flores

Read All About It: Newspaper Clipping from the Future of Moral Authority

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From the Washington Post, March 5, 2050

The Fourth Branch of US Government, the Moral Authority, Turns 35 Next Month

Sarah Palin after her 2008 presidential election win

Sarah Palin after her 2008 presidential election win

Washington D.C., March 4 (AP)—Plans are being finalized in our nation’s capitol as the country prepares to celebrate the anniversary of the newest branch of American government, the Moral Authority. Thirty-five years ago next month, the 44th President of the United States, Sarah Palin, made history for more than being the first woman to occupy the Oval Office. Former President Palin, and the constitutional amendment she helped push through Congress, added a moral branch to the executive, legislative, and judicial branches that helped found our nation.

Though a very vocal minority publicly opposed the creation of a moral branch of US government, the Moral Authority has been heralded a success by a majority of American citizens today.

“The Moral Authority is the best thing that happened to this nation,” says Ruth Monroe, 86, who plans on attending the celebrations that begin on April 6. “Before the Moral Authority, you couldn’t even watch television without seeing something scandalous or inappropriate. I don’t have to worry about what my grandchildren are watching anymore.”

In fact, thanks to the Moral Authority, media violence and pornography have ceased to be issues of contention between concerned citizens and First Amendment advocates. The American Moral Code of Conduct has made such hotly debated issues moot.

“I respect what the Moral Authority has been able to accomplish in such a relatively short span of time,” says President John Ellis Bush, Jr. “Due to their pioneering efforts in moral law, some of the most terrible offenses in human society, such as murder, rape, and assault are virtually nonexistent.”

The Moral Authority’s success, however, extends beyond its effect on violent crime. With strict adherence to the moral code of care, the Moral Authority, through a series of lifestyle legislation, has freed the country from unhealthy lifestyle choices, such as obesity, smoking, alcoholism, and homosexuality. As a result, there has been a sharp decline in diabetes, high blood pressure, and cancer. Additionally, with the abolishment of homosexuality coupled with the AIDS cure discovered in the last decade, STD’s have been virtually eliminated as a social disease.

Recent HRC attack on NYC Moral Police Department

Recent HRC attack on NYC Moral Police Department

It is because of all these successes that the country is excited about the month long celebration. However, there are those in the nation who feel differently. The Human Rights Campaign, who have been dubbed as domestic terrorists by most media outlets and government officials, vehemently oppose the Moral Authority. Recently, the HRC has been linked to several smoke bombings of moral police departments as well as a rash of breakouts from moral prisons around the nation.

Supreme High Chancellor of the Moral Authority, Samuel Pleasant, plans to address the nation next month as part of the festivities but also in part to answer the recent concerns being raised about the HRC. Speculation abounds that as part of his speech S.H.C. Pleasant plans to unveil further legislation aimed specifically with dealing with the HRC. However, when asked, S.H.C. Pleasant had this to say: “Although I am not able to provide specifics at this moment, American citizens should rest assured that the Moral Authority has this situation well under control.”

Follow the rest of the headlines on May 22 in

Moral Authority 2nd Edition

Why I Love…Provincetown

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I thought it would be fun to start a regular series of posts about things that I love. This would not only give me a forum to share those things in life I truly enjoy, but also give my readers some further insight into the man behind the computer screen and the novels. It’s my way of trying to bridge the gap between us since most of us only see each other once a year at GRL or other conferences.

So, today, for the premiere post of the “Why I Love…” series, I will be talking about Provincetown, Massachusetts.

Where is Provincetown?

Provincetown is at the tip of Cape Cod, which is the arm like appendage that juts out from the state and into the Atlantic Ocean.

 

See? Looks like a flexed arm, doesn't it?

See? Looks like a flexed arm, doesn’t it?

It is also the actual site of the Pilgrim’s first landing. It wasn’t Plymouth like many people believe. The Pilgrims, after charting a rather interesting path all around the Cape (which often makes me wonder if someone was steering under the influence), landed in Provincetown but didn’t stay. The soil was not suitable for crops, so they got back on the boat, turned the wheel back over to Captain Drunky McDrunkerson, and then they headed to Plymouth.

Look at the path they took around the cape? Someone was D-R-U-N-K!

Look at the path they took! Someone was D-R-U-N-K!

What’s so great about Provincetown? The Pilgrims Didn’t Want it!

While the Pilgrims may not have found Provincetown sutiable for their needs, there are many reasons why it is one of the best places on this planet. It’s because of the:

  • People
  • Commercial Street
  • Beaches
  • And Parties

The People

The people who reside in Provincetown are perhaps some of the best people I’ve ever met. And it’s not just the year-round residents, who are called Townies, but it’s also the people who visit there every year.

You see, P-town, as those who know her well call her, is a place that knows no stranger. She welcomes you with open arms upon arrival. You truly feel accepted by the men and women who live and visit the tip of the Cape. These people are friends just waiting to be made, and my husband and I have made many life long friends upon her sandy shores. We have been returning to P-town every year for the past seven years, and we were even married there in 2010. Each year, we not only meet up with friends who have become like family, but we also meet new people who join that ever-growing number of friends.

Commercial Street

Commercial Street is always a bevy of activity. There are shops, art galleries, clothing stores, and restaurants. You can spend an entire day just walking up and down this one street, peeking into every store. You can purchase a new wardrobe, a new centerpiece for your table, or a great meal. And at all of these places, you are guaranteed to make at least one friend at each stop. The waiter and shop owners typically remember you and will stop and say hi the next time you run into each other. And, on Commercial Street, you will run into the same people for your entire visit. It makes you feel less like a visitor and more like a Townie.

Commercial Street

A view of Commercial Street

The Beaches

Herring Cove and Race Point are spectacular. Herring Cove has a gentle surf, where you might even spot whales from the beach. Beautiful, rolling dunes surround the beach, and if you walk far enough, you can even find a quiet spot just for you and your loved one. It can be quite romantic.

Families typically gather at Race Point, where the waves are just right for surfing. There’s even a lighthouse, which makes it a great place to sun and picnic on a warm New England day.

The Parties

The biggest and best party is called Tea Dance or just “tea.” They do not serve tea here, well, you could get a Long Island Ice Tea, but if you ask for a cup of tea and some cake, people will look at you as if you are strange.

It’s called tea dance because of the time the dance occurs. It takes place during what is traditionally tea time in England, between the hours of 4-7 p.m. So, there are no tea kettles or finger sandwiches. You will, however, find the pool deck jam packed with half-dressed, hot guys who are all drinking, dancing, and thoroughly enjoying the heck out of each other. Mobs of people usually crowd the Boatslip, where tea is held, and though it can get crowded, it’s rarely that type of crowd that you want to avoid.

Tea Dance at the Boatslip

Tea Dance at the Boatslip

You won’t really find obnoxious people at tea. Sure, there’s some drunk person who might get sick or pass out in one of the bathroom stalls. Yuck, I know. But beyond that, it’s all about dancing and socializing. When tea is done, there’s usually the After Tea dance. And after After Tea, there are the clubs. Some people, like my husband, demand food at some point, so usually after a light dinner, there’s a power nap before it’s club time!

There are so many parties and so many clubs to choose from: the underwear party at Club Purgatory, the Red Party at A-House, the Vault at Large at the Crown and Anchor, or any number other of events occurring at any of the other spots. Here, you don’t run out of things to do. You run out of time to do them all.

So as you can see, Provincetown is not only a place where you make friends, but it’s a place where you can be yourself and enjoy yourself.

Who doesn’t love that?

 

How a Final Exam Restarted My Writing Career

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Many of you know that I teach college English, and this week is finals week. Cue the fanfare and confetti because in just a few short days, I will be on summer vacation and pounding my computer keyboard as if it were hot, sweaty man flesh. It will definitely be time to

celebrate.gif

But as I sit here today, I can’t help but think of an important final exam that occurred a couple of years ago.

While my students were taking their final and I was updating Facebook (because that’s what I do while they are taking their two-and-a-half-hour final!) I started thinking, and as Gaston says in Beauty and the Beast, that’s

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast

Lost of things were happening in our country at that time. I was extremely worried about the direction we were headed. I’m not going to get all political on you, so don’t worry. But I started thinking: what would happen if the “moral majority” took power and got everything they wanted?

So, I started a little writing exercise. You see, I hadn’t written in years. I had abandoned writing for my career in higher education and to focus on my family.

But at that moment inspiration struck.

Inspiration strikes me with rainbow stars :)

Inspiration strikes me with rainbow stars 🙂

I had to do something with it or I was going to explode right there in front of my students. So while they worked on analyzing poetry, I imagined a nation where morality became prescribed. Because basically, that’s what I felt some people wanted. They wanted everyone to share their values and their beliefs whether they did or not.

Who decides which one is which?

Who decides which one is which?

I then drafted The Moral Amendments of the Constitution of the United States of America.

In that document, I created a fourth branch of government, one that was responsible for overseeing the moral character of its citizens. That fourth branch of government became known as the Moral Authority.

Once that new branch of government had been created, I made the Moral Authority get to work.

A year after the amendment that created them, the Moral Authority helped pass another constitutional amendment known as The Definition of Marriage, which stated: a marriage between one man and one woman was the only legal domestic relationship that would be valid in the country.

Naturally, that started a political firestorm in the America of my imagining. States that had previously allowed gay marriage were forced to abide by the law of the land. This created such a backlash among the gay community. The country was then forced to deal with angry Americans rioting against the new law. Therefore, a new amendment was passed two years later, where homosexuality was abolished. Being gay was now a criminal offense just like drinking alcohol had once been during Prohibition.

What? No more rainbows too?

What? No more rainbows too?

This created an uproar in my future America. Citizens started to revolt, claiming that the Moral Authority was overstepping its boundaries, so the Moral Authority enacted another amendment two years after abolishing homosexuality to quell the rising tide of unpopularity that threatened to remove their power. They established a Moral Code for all citizens. Everyone was expected to do as the government dictated by following prescribed standards of care, fairness, loyalty, respect, and purity in their relationships with others and within their daily lives. A new moral law force was created to uphold moral code, and a new armed forces division was created to serve as a moral army. They were dubbed the K3, and their purpose was to deal with domestic moral terrorists, who sought anarchy through breaking moral law.

The fist of moral order

The fist of moral order

Needless to say, I was exhausted after creating this new America, and my students still hadn’t finished their exam. Now, however, I needed to do something with that new America. I couldn’t just let it sit there. I needed to populate it to show what could happen if individual rights were continually stripped away by government interference.

And during that final, approximately three years ago, I once again reclaimed my passion for writing, which turned into my novel Moral Authority.

So as I prepare for finals this year, I think back on that momentous day in my life. I have come a long way since I started scribbling out a dystopian America. I now have two published books under my belt and three more set to be published this year, one of those is the second edition of Moral Authority.

Moral Authority 2nd Edition

I can’t wait to see what I come up with next during these final exams. Stay tuned!