Category Archives: Being Gay

Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day!

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Whether you’re gay or a straight person who loves your gay friends, tomorrow is an important day in the GLBT community. It is National Coming Out Day, a day to celebrate not only who you love but who you are.

National Coming Out Day started on October 11, 1987, when half a million people marched in Washington in support for GLBT rights. Since then, October 11th has been a day when the GLBT community and their supporters unite in solidarity to help equality reach us all!

So, if you see someone wearing purple or proudly displaying their rainbow button, let them know you are a GLBT ally. And, if you want, you can wear purple tomorrow too!

New Calendar, “Men of Stacks”: Who Wants a Library Card Now?

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If you’re in the market for a 2012 calendar, I may have found one for you (and maybe me!).

The “Men of Stacks” Calendar not only makes the perfect gift for yourself or someone you love, but proceeds from the sales support the “It Gets Better Foundation.”

Men of the Stacks Calendar 2012 Mr. January

Mr. January has lost his bookmark

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men of the Stacks 2012 Mr. November

Mr. November dusted the shelves and needs a bath

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men of the Stacks 2012 Mr. December

Mr. December brushes his teeth before curling up with a book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obviously, librarians have changed from the matronly women who parked behind the reference desk when I was younger. Maybe we should all make a pact to return to the dusty shelves, abandoning our electronic reading devices and online bookstore purchases, and head back to our libraries. I feel the need to wander throughout the dusty shelves and rediscover Dewey’s Decimal System.

 

The Truth About Twinks

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This posting is part II in my series explaining the various subgroups in the gay male culture. Today’s topic is the Twink. (To read Part I: A Reference Guide to Gay Bear Culture, click here).

For those of you who have ever wondered just what a twink was when your gay friends talked about one, this post will hopefully clear up your confusion and give you a basic understanding of those gay boys who fall under the twink classification.

A Group of Twinkies

A Group of Twinkies

Definition of a Twink: Men (or boys) in the gay community who are rarely above 30 years old. Many are slender if not extremely thin and often lack body hair and rarely, if ever, have facial hair (as opposed to the bears, who are considered their polar opposites). Traditionally, these gay men  most closely represent the stereotype of gay men as being “queenie” or “effeminate.” They are often portrayed as wild partiers, who are either still in the closet, newly gay, or still struggling through coming out issues.

Characteristics of a Twink: Twinks suffer from a bad reputation. Beyond having to deal with the “queenie” or “effeminate” stereotype, as a group they are often known for being drama queens, rude, snotty, and dumb. In fact, the term twink originates from a popular junk food–The Twinkie. The comparison connotes that twinks are only for short-term consumption and not a long-term relationship. (This is an unfair description, seeing as how most of the men in this classification are young and should  be having fun and enjoying life.) Additionally, the comparison also points to the often sun-kissed skin most twinks have through either excessive sun worship or frequent visits to tanning salons. Like Bears, Twinks tend to travel in groups, and while not as physically dangerous as a pack of Bears, they are known for razor sharp tongues capable of verbally ripping anyone to shreds. Unless you can verbally spar, don’t enter into a word war with a twink.

What Do Twinkies Do in the Box? Like Bears, Twinks are more than just what a few individuals enjoy. However, there are some standard past times of this younger set of gay men. On average, clubbing ranks among the highest. Walk into any trendy gay hot spot, and you will find groups of twinks twirling on the dance floor or luxuriating in the VIP section. The drinks of choice are typically fruity and vibrant in color, such as a Cosmo, or low in calories like a vodka and Red Bull. Most twinks are obsessed with fashion, music, popular trends, hooking up, and coming out. And, due to their age, most are enrolled in college.

Twink Wrapping: Twinks enjoy shopping for the latest youthful trends. They frequent stores such as Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, or American Eagle. While they enjoy the finer fashion designers–Armani, Prada, and Hugo Boss–their lack of sustainable income (unless they come from money or are attached to a wealthy daddy-husband), means they typically cannot afford to splurge their college funds on fashion. Whether the outfit is high fashion or not, you will be hard-pressed to find a twink not dressed to impress, whether it’s Friday night at a club or Sunday morning brunch. The world is their runway. And like most models, it isn’t uncommon for a Twink to forego food in favor of looking his best. Many will often engage in crash dieting to achieve the desired lean and waifish look.

Types of Twinks: Within this category, you will also find a few subcategories that also fall under the larger Twink classification.

  • All-American Twink represents the epitome of popularity and physical perfection. He is extremely athletic and his hair is always perfectly manicured.

    Zac Efron--All American Twink

    Zac Efron--All American Twink

  • Beach Twink refers to the type of younger gay male who spends his days at, you guessed it, the beach. His hair is typically almost platinum blonde from sun exposure.
  • Gaysian is a twink of Asian descent.
  • Gym Twink are those boys who live at the gym. Unlike the traditional twink, their bodies are not lean or waifish. Gym Twinks strive for muscle definition and will not break if handled roughly.

    Taylor Lautner--a Gym Twink

    Taylor Lautner--a Gym Twink example

  • Twunk is a pejorative remark describing an older man trying to be a twink. This type of gay man is typically between the ages of 28-40, who still shops at Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, or American Eagle. Also, in efforts to reclaim lost youth, a twunk frequents tanning salons, wears clothing at least two sizes too small, and sometimes indulges in Botox or plastic surgery. Men who fit this definition will often lie about their age and will create drama if they hit on you and you reject them.

Twink Admirers: Individuals who seek the company of twinks have their own classifications as well.

  • Daddies represent the older men who pursue younger men for sexual and/or long-term relationships. These men typically support twinks by paying their bills and their rent all in the hopes of stealing some of the youthful energy the twink possesses in abundance.
  • Fag Hags are girls who typically are only friends with gay boys. They accompany them to clubs and help their gays sweep up their broken hearts. It is a relationship that is sacrosanct, often more meaningful than most sexual relationships the gay boy or hag are currently involved in.

Twinks and those that gravitate toward them are an eclectic group of individuals. If you’re looking for someone to party with or who knows the latest fashions, find yourself a twink BFF. They’ll have you dressed to kill and party ready in no time.

Top 5 Lessons Learned from Olivia Newton-John’s Films/Music

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Yesterday, one of the most important women of my childhood celebrated a birthday–Olivia Newton-John. (This would have been posted yesterday, but my hosting server crashed. My apologies, Olivia!)

I imagine there are many gay men who also fell in love with ONJ in their youths. Not only was she beautiful but she was amazingly talented, and her songs bewitched me the first moment I heard her open her mouth. I still remember when I first saw her in Grease on the big screen. With my mother sitting next to me munching on popcorn and nachos, I was transfixed upon seeing her playing on the beach as Sandy with John Travolta’s Danny. The song “Love is a Many Splendored Thing” played in the background of our first glimpse at their burgeoning love.

I was hooked. I had to shush my mother for interrupting the dialogue, when she asked if I wanted some popcorn.

For a young boy struggling with his sexual identity, she was my first official fag hag, before I even knew what that was or meant. Her fresh, innocent face and gorgeous blue eyes had me hopelessly devoted to her. After Grease, I watched every movie she starred in (okay, there were only three others, but I anxiously awaited each one), I collected every single vinyl record she ever put out, and I danced and sang to her tunes in the privacy of my own room. She was my BFF, and she knew exactly what I was feeling. When she sang, she did so just for me–to help me get through those tough times in life.

So, for her 63rd birthday, I decided to write some lessons I learned from the Australian-born singer/actor’s career in film and music.

Lesson #1 from Grease’s Sandy: Bad boys LOVE the innocent type, but they like them even more if they occasionally take a ride on the wild side.

  • Being a good boy at heart (Those of you who know me well can stop laughing! I am a good boy!), I knew I needed to adapt my image if I wanted the boys I liked to actually take any interest in me. While I didn’t immediately adopt those lessons at the time of my youth, when I grew up I knew exactly what I had to do. Men enjoy trash for sowing their wild oats AKA Rizzo and Cha Cha DiGregorio, but when it’s time to settle down, they want the tart wrapped up in a helping of sweet. So, during my single days (and a bit still today), I was the good boy capable of hopeless devotion but who was also known to don leather pants, smoke, and make the boy strip off his sweater for a mere chance of singing “We Go Together” with me. And, eventually, I found my own husband, a mixture of the good and the bad himself, and who must’ve watched Grease a lot too!

Lesson #2 from Xanadu’s Kira: When you play hard to get and act aloof, the boy wants you that much more!

  • As the mythological muse in this not-well-received movie, ONJ’s character remained just out of reach of her intended Sonny Malone played by Michael Beck. That drove him crazy! He pursued her relentlessly, even challenging her father Zeus, for merely a chance of spending one more moment with her. Lesson quickly learned. I realized men, no matter how much I loved them, had very short attention spans. You give them everything they want, and they lose interest quickly. But when there’s a challenge, something for them to overcome, they will run whatever obstacle course you place before them for the mere chance to get to you. And let’s face it, we’re all worth a challenge. Some boys failed the challenges. They were promptly eliminated and sent packing. But, eventually, you meet the boy who overcomes all the obstacles until he finally reaches you. When that happens, even if your father is Zeus, you know you’re good for eternity just like I am.

Lesson #3 from Two of a Kind’s Debbie: When you sacrifice all for love, incredible things can happen.

  • Even though this ONJ movie took some serious hits from critics, her character still taught me a lot. ONJ played a good girl turned bank robber, and she clashed with fellow bank robber Zack AKA her Grease co-star John Travolta. They spent the movie trying to outdo each other and falling in love, and it was their love that eventually saved the world. (Apparently, the devil and God struck up a bargain. If God didn’t find true love on the planet, then the devil would be granted dominion over the Earth.Yeah, I know, it sounds awful, but lessons can be learned from awful too!) Thanks to her character’s selflessness, I learned that for the sake of true love you sometimes have to put everything, your reputation and even your life, on the line. After all, it’s not true love if you’re not willing to do that!

Lesson #4 from ONJ’s “Physical” video: You can’t win them all!

  • I’m sure many of you have seen the steamy video I’m mentioning. In it, ONJ is training some rotund fellows at the gym, all the while singing about more than just physical education. However, once her work is complete and the boys are sculpted masses of superb man flesh, the boys fall for each other and not her. While it was a hard lesson to learn in life, it was one that everyone needs to accept. No matter how attractive we might make ourselves and no matter what we might do to catch the attention of that guy, sometimes, he might just not be into you. That is no reason to fret, though. Men are like tissues. When one leaves, another pops up as ONJ found out at the end of her video. That lesson helped me through many a heartbreak, so if heartbreak happens to you again, be confident that just beyond the gym room door (or bar door, or club door, or whatever other doors you open), the right man is waiting on the other side. We all find him. Eventually.

Lesson #5 from It’s My Party’s Lina: A good friend is always there–no matter what!

  • In this movie, ONJ played the best friend to Eric Robert’s Nick. Nick was dying of AIDS and rather than continue to live in pain, he wanted to end his life on his own terms. ONJ’s Lina didn’t want him to do it. She begged him not to do it, but he went through it anyway. She didn’t like it, and she was deeply sad to watch him do it, but she stayed by his side–a true blue friend indeed. This was a lesson that I try to hold true. I have friends, some of whom have changed drastically, and though the distance between us may now be great, I will be here when those friends need me again. True friendship is not a ship that should be missed. Once you board it, you’re on it for life!

Looking at these lessons I’ve learned, it’s easy to see that I am indeed a fan of Olivia Newton-John, and I always will be. She was there for a fat, insecure kid who grew into a man I think she would be proud of.

So for her 63rd birthday, I want to thank you personally, Olivia (we are on a first name basis now), for the lessons on love, life, and friendship you taught me throughout your career. They have shaped me into the person I am, and I love you for it. I will always be Hopelessly Devoted to You!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS9Vd2ticS4&feature=related

Top 5 Reasons People Choose to be Gay by FCKH8.com

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I ran across this video from an activist organization aptly named FCKH8. (Visit their website by clicking here.)

The video’s message is strongly worded and if you are easily offended by vulgarity, then you shouldn’t watch it, and, well, if you are, you probably won’t be reading this post anyway, so my warning is probably moot.

What I find promising about this video is what it tells me about our future. The video stars many younger people (and by that I mean younger than someone of my almost forty years). These youth are angry, and they are taking a stand against the people who continue to spread hate and intolerance in our country. By taking this campaign under their wings, they have assembled merchandise to be sold in support of FCKingH8 and raised awareness about how hateful many conservative politicians and religious sects are being, in other words the individuals and organizations that have grown stagnant and resistant to change.

And their audience isn’t me or you or those in charge. They are speaking to the youth of the nation, the twenty something and younger crowd. They are speaking to the future leaders, and they use language and images that appeal to the younger generation’s mindset.

Their voices are crude, and their demeanor is flippant, but their message is clear. For them, the time for hate is long over, and since they will be taking over the country and the world when the ultra conservatives retire and/or die off, they are letting the nation know that when it’s there turn to be in power, our nation will be what our forefathers wanted it to be–a place where the downtrodden and the outcast are welcome and embraced with arms wide open.

If you like this video on Facebook and tweet it on Twitter, their campaign will donate up to $10,000 for organizations that help GLBT youth, a worthwhile endeavor indeed. So view the video, like it, tweet it, and share it.

Before you click, be advised one more time: many F-bombs ahead!

What to Wear? What to Wear?

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As some of you may or may not know, Fashion Week in New York City has ended. Right now, fashionistas all over the nation are scrambling to add the unique couture they watched sashay down the runway into their already overcrowded closets.

While I am certainly not a fashionista (by any stretch of the imagination), I thought it would be fun to see what new and innovative fashion I might see in the spring and perchance try to mimic within my own humble budget.

Jeremy Scott’s Spring Collection provided me with my first interesting idea. (Click here to see his complete spring line, courtesy of Style.com.)

Jeremy Scott Spring 2012

Got milk and ass less chaps?

This was the first to really catch my eye. I always wondered what it might be like to party in a pasture with a herd of Holstein cattle (they’re black and white, by the way.) Thanks to Jeremy Scott, I need to wonder no longer. Since Holstein cattle are typically found in Europe (the Netherlands to be specific), I can cancel my trek abroad to live this experience. I simply need to find some relatively inexpensive chaps and a kicking vest. Since I live in Texas, not too big of a problem for me. After that, it’s a simple process to dye them black and white and break out my black leather jockstrap, and I’m all set.

Once that’s done, I need to find an appropriate venue to wear my new bovine inspired ensemble. I’m thinking of wearing it the next time the family and I head to Chic-Fil-A. The chicken sandwich chain is known for their popular advertisements with comical cattle begging hungry patrons to eat chicken. I should blend right in.

Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci

Too hot for pants? Try a kilt!

The next look to catch my eye was from the Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci collection. To me, this looks like a good alternative for those hot Texas days when you have to dress up but you just don’t want to wear pants. In the summer, I often bemoan having to go to work or to a formal occasion and wear long pants. In Texas, sometimes it’s just too darn hot!

Well, this design allows me the option to not only dress up but stay cool. Thankfully the garment comes in white. As a bonus, the cool Triffid looking design spreads in vibrant colors across the fabric, which creates such an eye-catching design that most people won’t realize your legs are bare!

The skirt separate, I mean, the manly kilt companion piece completes the unique look that inspires both a matching baseball cap (to keep the sun out of your eyes) and might even inspire some creative footwear choices, such as something in a Manolo Blahnik, perhaps.

This outwit would be perfect for a beach side wedding or any event where dress up is encouraged during those steamy months. (For more outfits for the spring by Givenchy click here.)

All I would really need to replicate this is a long sleeve white shirt and a skirt, tie-dye it, and I’m good to go.

MEN Thierry Mugler Spring 2012

But I AM wearing a shirt

Now, if you’re like me, sometimes you just don’t know what to wear to a club. So many club scenes these days almost require the absence of a shirt once you hit the dance floor. I’m always a little too self conscious for that but feel pressured (sometimes by someone trying to take my shirt off) to join the crowd.

This next outfit brought to us from the Thierry Mugler Spring 2012 collection (click here to see more pictures) solves my dilemma (and perhaps yours) perfectly. Now I can both wear a shirt while at the same time not wear a shirt. With this outfit, I will fit in with the non-shirt wearing party boys but still feel appropriately covered and maintain my modesty, which is a must!

Also, I hate when looks at the club are over done and over thought. This one is neither. No thinking is really required. Just slip into the non-shirt, put on the leather shorts (that rest under the leather jockstrap for the Jeremy Scott ensemble), slip your feet into a pair of shiny black shoes from your closet and PRESTO instant fabulousness!

Obviously, this would also be easy to recreate. Find a long sleeve shirt that fits you snugly in the arms and shoulder area and just cut the rest of it out. Since most of us have a pair of leather shorts and black shoes anyway, this would be a rather inexpensive and easy duplication.

With just those three designers, I already have new ideas for casual wear, formal wear, and club wear. Recreating them should be a breeze with only scissors, some fashion dyes, and the black leather sundries already in our closets.

I simply can’t wait for spring now!

A Reference Guide to the Gay Bear Culture

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Post Updated: 4/18/2015, Original Post, 9/18/2011

It’s been almost four years since I originally wrote this post, and as I was going through it, I decided it was time to update the reference guide to reflect the various comments and e-mails I received over the past few years.

Contrary to what some people believe, all gay men aren’t the same. We don’t all enjoy Broadway musicals, dress up in the latest fashions, or walk with too much honey on our hips. Not every single gay man turns his nose up in disgust at sporting events, outdoor activities, or manual labor. The gay male culture is actually a cornucopia of men with different tastes, interests, and body types. We are a microcosm of the American culture just like every other subculture in the world. Not every African American listens to rap nor do all Latinos speak Spanish and watch telanovelas (Spanish soap operas). To believe that every single person within any particular culture is representative of the culture as a whole is not only ridiculous but illogical.

Therefore in an effort to increase understanding of the various subcultures within the larger nomenclature that is the gay community, I have decided to write a series of posts aimed at explaining the different types of men who comprise the gay community at large.

Now, just to clarify, gay men sometimes uses terms and classifications to identify other groups within our own that often confuses our straight friends. I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked just what is a bear? Once I begin the explanation and delve into the various categories within the bear subculture, their eyes either glass over due to the sheer excess of information provided, or they (and by they, I mean my straight, male friends) will ask what kind of bear am I?

For some reason, my straight male friends feel the need to be classified by the terms we use to describe other gay men. And from what I hear from my gay brothers, their straight guy friends pose the same questions to them. Perhaps it’s their need to feel included (no man wants to be left out of any team even if they really play for the opposition!) or perhaps they just want to see exactly how desirable they are to other men. Let’s face it, our straight male friends might not want to slip between the sheets with another man, but they want to at least know what their options were if they did.

Therefore as a nod to all my straight male friends, the first group I shall tackle are the lovable, affable Bears.

Bears

A group of Bears

Definition of Bear: Men in the gay community who have hairy bodies and facial hair. Many are stocky and/or muscular (generally larger in mass than any other classification of gay men in the community). They often portray themselves as the epitome of masculinity through their rugged appearance and demeanor.

Characteristics of a Bear: Typically, Bears are friendly, polite, and easy-going, a far cry from their animal namesake. Their larger body types contain some of the kindest hearts. If a bear were to accidentally step on you at a bar, he would be the first one to apologize and feel awful for potentially hurting you. However, just like their namesakes, a bear is a dangerous gay when provoked and prodded with a stick (no pun intended). Their size alone would be enough to take down an entire gaggle of gays. But unlike real bears, these Bears travel in packs. When you take on one Bear, the entire cave is threatened.

What Does a Bear Do in the Woods?: While Bears have a wide range of interests, they are some natural proclivities of the subculture that seem pretty standard. Most Bears enjoy food and drink. Beer is the alcohol of choice. Rarely, do you see a Bear sipping a Cosmo or calling himself a Vegan. They indulge in the simpler pleasure of life such as camping, laying in the sun, or communing with other Bears.

Bear Wear: Bears can often be spotted in the wild wearing open flannel shirts exposing their guts and hirsute bodies, combat boots, and baseball caps. They are not slaves to fashion. This is not to say that Bears don’t play dress up. (They are gay after all!) But they are more at home wearing lose fit, extremely casual clothing.

Bear Subcategories: The term Bear doesn’t apply to every single hairy gay man. In fact, within the Bear subculture  you will find an entire slew of different classifications.

  • Berenstien Bear is a bear of Jewish descent
  • Black Bear is a bear of African-American descent.
  • Brown Bear is a bear of Latin descent.
  • Care Bear is a bear who “cares” about his appearance and cares about fashion
  • Chubby Bear is a bear who is heavy set and hairy.
  • Cub is a term used to describe a bear relatively younger in age. The term is also affectionally used to describe a bear’s husband/partner who fulfills the passive role in the sexual relationship.
  • Daddy Bear describes a mature bear, who is often looking for a Cub (or younger man) for a relationship.
  • Grizzly Bear means that the individual is extremely dominant and typically extremely tall, heavy, or hairy.
  • Honey Badger describes a bear, who is blond and is usually muscular and not heavy.
  • Koala Bear is a bear of Australian descent.
  • Otter describes a man who is hairy but not heavy. An otter’s build is leaner and muscular.
  • Otter Cub describes a younger man who is heavy but not hairy. His build is also leaner and muscular
  • Panda Bear denotes a bear of Asian descent.
  • Papa Bear describes a bear who has children and devotes most of the time he used to spend drinking and clubbing to his children.
  • Pocket Bear describes a bear of short stature.
  • Polar Bear is a bear with white or grey hair.
  • Seal Bear is a mostly hairless, heavier man. He’s a seal because his body is slick like a seal.
  • Shape Shifting Bear is a bear that moves, at various times of his life, through different subcategories. He can go from a Chub Bear to an Otter to a Wolf.
  • Silver Fox describes a distinguished gentleman with salt and pepper hair.
  • Silver Otter describes a man who is hairy (not heavy), but whose hair is overall white
  • Wolf is a term for a bear who is rugged and outdoorsy but typically also a biker. A wolf can also be sexually aggressive.
  • Yogi Bear describes a bear who likes camping and hiking but also enjoys laying around the cave playing video games.

Bear Admirers: Those who are attracted to bears or hang out with them also have their own set of descriptions.

  • Chaser describes a man who is sexually attracted to heavy set gay men.
  • Goldilocks is usually a woman who hangs out with a group of bears. This is the Bear culture’s term for their “fag hag.”
Goldilocks

Goldilocks, the original Bear fag hag

As you can see, Bears and those that love them, come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and interests. If you want to learn more, find a Bear and befriend him. You’ll be glad you did.

 

 

 

 

In Search of My Inner Eye at Travaasa Spa

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Welcome to the Travaasa Spa in Austin

Our welcome to the Travaasa Spa

Yesterday, we departed our home in the heart of the conservative crossroads in the red state of Texas to head for the only welcoming blue blip –Austin. After a two and a half hour exodus through political signs and bumper stickers that called for Texans to secede from the union or praised Republicans and Rick Perry (who was applauded at the recent GOP presidential debate for having the most executions under his leadership, a proud moment for Texas indeed), it was a fresh breath of air to arrive in Austin and enter the gates of the Travaasa Spa. (Click the link to go to their website.)

Once we arrived at their Welcome Center, we were greeted by a spa representative who escorted us to the front desk. They checked us in without once batting an eye at two men staying in a room with only a single bed. This is a spa in Austin. Two gay men are nothing new here.

After our check in, one of the representatives met us at our car in a golf cart and hauled our about-to-be-seriously-pampered tushes and our luggage to our room, which came with a spectacular view of the Austin Hill Country.

Since we arrived after all the activities for Friday had already been completed, we enjoyed a leisurely dinner and headed back to our room, where we stared at the night sky and enjoyed life.

In the morning, we attended a meditation session. Those who know me, know that I’m not the “groovy, hippie” kinda of guy. I was more than reluctant to sit cross-logged in a room I envisioned to be filled with incense or listen to someone who most likely smokes marijuana telling me how to see through my third eye and cleanse my chakras. But when I entered the room, it wasn’t the nightmare I envisioned.

Meditation Room

A view of the meditation room

No incense clogged the room or my sinus cavities. The woman who led the class was quite pleasant and didn’t appear to have taken any hits of Mary Jane prior to the class. I didn’t see the shining auras surrounding my body nor did I imagine a cable shoot out of my spine and head to the center of the earth, where all my bad mojo was to be deposited. When she first told us to visualize this, I couldn’t help but think she was asking me to take a spiritual dump into the earth. Naturally, I lost some focus after that hilarious image, but I recovered and relaxed. My husband, God love him, saw the colors and asked her what the colors meant. While they talked, I meditated on my inability to see the grand spiritual spectrum he saw. I wondered if there was some fundamental flaw in my psyche that prevented me from reaching that deep down inside myself. Either that or I lack depth as an individual.

Another view of the meditation garden

Meditation Garden

Since I know that cannot be the case, I chalked my inability to board the Yellow Submarine as my need for control. I rarely hand over the reigns of my life to anyone, in any circumstance. Still, I felt relaxed, so the class wasn’t entirely wasted on me.

Now, after a short stint by the Infinity Pool, where I baked in the Texas sun among other liberals who could have cared less about the two gay men sharing the pool deck with them, I now prepare for my 80 minute deep sleep aromatherapy massage. It will be 80 minutes of pure bliss, and while I might not hand over my chakras or my third eye to a meditation specialist, I have no problem handing over my body for a good massage.