Betty White: “I’m Still Hot!”

Betty White teamed up with Luciana in a music video titled “I’m Still Hot.” Everyone’s favorite Golden Girl steals the show (along with the well-sculpted mounds of man flesh that surround her.)

The video’s purpose is to support The Lifeline Program.

Regardless if you’re interested in selling your life insurance or not, you’ll enjoy Betty White rapping and dancing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5phqDvrWNZc

Top 5 Lessons Learned from Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley

I realized the other day that I missed the birthday of another of my favorite actors–Sigourney Weaver! (Please forgive me, Sigourney!)

I know there must be other people out there who love Sigourney Weaver as much as I do, but I challenge anyone out there who thinks they love her character Ellen Ripley from the Alien movies more than I do. Those would definitely be fighting words!

Alien was the first scary movie I saw, and I absolutely loved it! In fact, because of her and that movie, I became a rabid fan of the genre.

I was only seven years old when the movie premiered, and I begged my mother to take me to see it. Now before you bash my mother for daring to take such a young boy to such a scary movie, keep in mind that I pestered her almost nightly to see it. I wasn’t forced, and I wasn’t dragged. I wanted to see that movie! I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to see it once I saw the trailer.

In case you’ve forgotten it, here it is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oYNvmNZP2o

When I first saw that trailer, I remember thinking what the hell is in that egg?!?! (Yes, I most likely said hell at that age. I was always very advanced!)

The movie trailer intrigued me, and I just had to see it. Boy, was I glad I did!

Even though my mother attempted to shield my eyes during the infamous chest burster scene, I pried her hand open, so I could watch what would become a momentous cinematic event. I was neither emotionally scared nor terrified by what happened. I thought it was awesome!

Since then, Sigourney’s Ripley became my first action hero! (Well, besides Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman, but I’ll save that for a later post! Today is Sigourney’s day!)

So, to commemorate her 62nd birthday, I wanted to share some lessons I learned from watching Sigourney Weaver battle her alien nemesis throughout the years.

Lesson #1: Always Follow Standard Quarantine Rules

  • Ripley knew they should never have let Cain back aboard the Nostromo with the face hugger wrapped around his head. In fact, the science protocols for Weyland-Yutani (yup, I know the company the original crew worked for) explicitly stated indigenous lifeforms are to be kept off ship at all times! This was for the safety of the crew, but did they listen to her? NOOOO! They let Cain on the ship and then died for their stupidity. It served them right, really! Since that movie, I don’t allow anyone aboard my ship without first making sure they pass quarantine procedures. If you don’t dock safely, you could be in serious trouble. Just ask Cain or Dallas or Brett or Lambert or Parker. Ashe doesn’t count; he was a robot after all!

Lesson #2: Always Wear Good Panties (or undies)

  • At the end of Alien, Ripley had to fight the monster in close quarters, wearing only her drawers. Thankfully, she wore a nice looking pair prior to jumping into the spacesuit and knocking the Alien out the shuttle bay door. She was fierce and attractive while kicking Alien @$$. Because of that scene, I make sure that I always wear a good pair of undies in mint or near-mint condition. You never know what situation may suddenly come up, requiring you to be barely clothed! No matter the reason, wearing a good pair of underwear will boost your confidence and allow you to beat whatever monster needs beating at the time!

Lesson #3: Damsels in Distress Don’t Survive

  • While I enjoyed Veronica Cartwright’s portrayal of Lambert in Alien, her can’t-save-myself attitude only got her killed. She refused to take action and sat by while others made plans or sacrificed their lives (poor Parker) before ultimately dying herself. Ripley never traveled down that road. She took action, made plans, and saw them through. She had no trouble setting the self-destruct sequence, even if it meant killing herself in the process. She was always going to be in control of her fate. Thanks to Ripley, I’ve learned to never rely on someone else to save me. If I’m going to make it out of a hairy situation, I have to set events in motion to make sure I come out on top.

Lesson #4: Stand Up for Yourself and Your Loved Ones, No Matter What (or as Ripley put it: “Get away from her, you bitch!”)

  • In the 1985 sequel Aliens, Ripley returned to LV 426, the name of the now-colonized planet that she landed on in the original movie. She went back with a squadron of  Colonial Marines, who were dubbed the baddest @$$es in the known universe. Obviously, they were all fated to die because, well, they weren’t Ripley! The marines died one by one, but Ripley survived to challenge the Alien Queen in the end. The queen’s alien drones had kidnapped Ripley’s surrogate daughter Newt, and well, Ripley was pissed off. She charged into the alien hive, rescued Newt, battled the queen, and made it safely back to the Sulako. Of course, in a surprise twist, the Alien Queen stowed away and threatened Ripley’s daughter once again. Not to be outdone, Ripley battled the queen courtesy a futuristic hydraulic lift and uttered her famous words: “Get away from her, you bitch!” Naturally, Ripley saved Newt and the day, and I learned that no matter what the odds, no matter how ugly or vicious the monster you must face, you have to stand up for those you love. Because in the end, their love is all that really matters.

Lesson #5: You Can’t Keep a Good Woman (or Person) Down

  • In the less popular third part of the series Alien 3, Ripley died, sacrificing herself for the good of humanity. You see, Weyland-Yutani, her original employer from the first movie always knew about the alien and wanted it for its weapon division. Ripley, impregnated by one of the aliens, wasn’t about to let that happen. After surviving yet another alien attack and being one of two survivors, she jumped in a pit of fire. Did that stop Ripley? Nope. She was reborn in Alien Resurrection, where she continued to survive and ultimately made it back to Earth. From her trials, I learned that a truly good person may have crap happen to them in life, but in the end the crap doesn’t win. By some force, be it sheer determination or divine intervention, the good person wins out in the end. So I do my best to be as good, strong, brave, and loyal as Ripley was throughout her run in the Alien franchise.

Looking back at everything I’ve learned, I have Sigourney Weaver to thank for helping me in my relationships and my character. If I had never seen Alien at seven years old, Lord only knows how messed up I might be today!

Perry Endorser Robert Jeffress: Mitt Romney Follows A Cult

ThinkProgress reports how Southern Baptist Pastor Robert Jeffress “well-known for his bigoted views about gays, Muslims, and Mormons” believes that allowing Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney in The White House would be the same as supporting a cult. According to Jeffress, only true Christians (which apparently excludes Romney) should be allowed to lead our nation. Evidently, religious convictions are a pre-requisite for the Executive Office in this deluded man’s point of view.

Jeffress’ comments were made today at the Values Voters Summit, where Rick Perry was introduced by the Dallas-based Baptist pastor. In his speech, he called Planned Parenthood “a slaughterhouse” and repeated his belief that “Mormonism is a cult.” He also falsely claimed that “seventy percent of the gay population has AIDS” and that the virus is a well-known “gay disease.”

If you want the highlights, here’s the video.

What amazes me is that the summit is touted as Values Voters. This man demonstrates no values I would want anyone to follow. His perception is prejudiced, narrow, and alarming. Basically, his argument comes down to this: if you’re not like him, you’re not fit to hold office. That is most definitely not the principles this country was founded upon nor does it represent the true spirit of democracy. Perhaps Jeffress forgets that this country is “for the people” and “by the people.” Those people include Mormons, non-Christians, and gays!

Why does this man, or anyone really, feel the need to exclude groups within a country seeking national representation? A true candidate, someone who really wanted to represent America, would be a voice for the rich and powerful, the poor and downtrodden, and the social elite and the social pariahs.

True leadership means leading everyone not just those who are the most like you!

Jimmy Kimmel’s New Exercise Device: The Tug Toner, Work Out While You Pleasure Yourself

On his show a few nights ago, Jimmy Kimmel presented the latest exercise device that is sure to rival Suzanne Somer’s Thigh Master! His device, The Tug Toner, is a parody of the latest apparatus The Free Flexor (which you can purchase by clicking on the link I’ve provided). If you ordered it (or have ordered it), let me know how that exercise routine is going!

Kimmel’s Tug Toner far surpasses The Free Flexor as a phallic symbol. I can’t wait for a Tug Toner class at my gym. It would beat Naked Yoga any day of the week!

NY Town Clerks: We’re the Victims for Not Signing Gay Marriage Licenses

Some of you who may have heard about the town clerks in New York whose jobs are threatened or who have resigned because they refused to sign gay marriage licenses. Gay marriage is now legal in NY, and part of their jobs is to sign marriage licenses for citizens in their county. Since these clerks refused, they are facing/have faced losing their jobs.

Naturally, NOM (National Organization for Marriage) jumped all over this faster than a rat on a Cheetoh!

They produced the following videos to help spread the panic that religious freedom is being threatened.  Below you will find the video featuring Rose Marie Belforti. If you can keep from bringing up your latest meal, have a look.

What I find interesting about her commentary is that she claims she had no prior knowledge of gay marriage being made legal in her state. It took receiving a marriage certificate from two people of the same gender to clue her in. That is utterly preposterous. She works in a government office, where they receive updates on new laws, since, well, it’s their job to know these things. To claim ignorance is  ridiculous, especially when the topic was all over the media–newspapers, television, and the Internet. These laws weren’t made in secret as she seems to allude.

Additionally, she (and the other clerks who NOM gobbled up for their campaign of terror, Laura Fotusky and Ruth Sheldon, whose videos can also be found via Towleroad) now believes that doing her job threatens her religious freedom.

If she feels that strongly in her religious beliefs, then she can resign.

Shirking your assigned (or elected) duties based on religion isn’t a defense nor does it get you out of performing duties you promised to uphold when you took the job (or were elected).

What about if a doctor refused to treat a gay man who was ill because homosexuality went against his Christian beliefs? Would he be allowed to get away with it? What if a teacher didn’t want to educate African-Americans because she was a white supremacist? That teacher has a right to her beliefs, but does that mean she is not required by her job to educate all students?

If Belforti, Fotusky, or Sheldon are no longer capable of fulfilling their job duties as town clerks, then they need to find jobs where they can perform the expected tasks and remain true to their religious convictions.

Their religious freedoms don’t negate someone else’s civil rights, and no one gets to pick and choose what laws we follow.

These women aren’t victims. They placed their jobs in peril by refusing to sign the marriage certificates. Now, they have to suffer the consequences, as any other employee would.

Bullying at the Pulpit Equals Child Molestation?

According to Mitchell Gold, founder of the non-profit organization Faith in America, religious leaders, who stand before their congregation and condemn homosexuality, are guilty of mental child molestation.

Here is why Gold believes this (as reported by ThinkProgress): “clergy people who stand at their pulpit and . . . speak about gay people as sinners and an abomination, that is bullying a young kid. That is really — and I know this may sound exaggerated — but that is nothing less than child molestation of a child’s mind. . . . It is devastating to a 14-year-old-kid to hear their rabbi or their imam or their priest or clergy person say that they are a sinner or an abomination…and I’m here to tell them, they are full and whole and wonderful and they will learn as life goes on that there are many, many people who feel that way.”

Watch the full interview below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s73Ut9_pI6M

At a time when homosexuals are attacked by many religious conservatives, it is nice to see a religious man not only publicly support homosexuality but, more importantly, tell the gay youth of America that there is nothing wrong with them.

For these young people, their religious leaders are often next to God. Their words matter, and when the head of their church tells them they are going to hell, it hurts. I know this from personal experience as do many, many, many others.

I wish more religious leaders would keep the children in mind as they are preaching hate and intolerance. Gay children attend church too, and just as you wouldn’t want someone off the street attacking your child and saying he is worthless or she is going to hell, a trusted religious leader should not be allowed to do the same thing in a place for families or in a place about love.